Don Squirreleone
Well, I've finally given into a force that refuses to be denied. Over the years, all types of squirrels have been invading and even eating my birdfeeders. I thought I had tried everything, squirrel-proof feeders, vaseline on the feeder poles and I even bought a BB gun to try to dissuade my varmit neighbors from overindulging at my free food-bank.
Nothing worked until I met Don Squirreleone. Don, a local red squirrel gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. I noticed that Don was the loudest and most obnoxious of my rodential invaders. He spent an inordinate time perched on my deck, staring directly at me, chirping squirrel challenges to my manhood and then climbing on and munching all over my feeders. I tried my usual defenses, even unloading all 13 BB shots into the woods as Don raced out of range and returned to taunt me as I spilled hundreds of BBs on my carpet. Quite often he even returned and mooned me.
But then I noticed something. The much larger grey, black and fox squirrels had disappeared from my feeders and the birds were returning! Whenever another would climb onto the deckrail, Don would chirp like a banshee-that-chirped and chase the intruder away.
It then all became clear. This was not just some run-of-the-mill rodent with panda bear affectations. This little red squirrel was "the Man". He owned the neighborhood. He ran the Show. Don, and Don alone, kept his bird feeders safe for birds.... and Don.
And I realized that I was powerless to challenge his primacy over the deck that I built with my own hands.
I'm now comfortable with my new status. I ladle out a halfcup of premium seed every few days or so for Don. The other squirrels are gone. My feeders are loaded with finches, cardinals, nuthatches etc. and life seems pretty good.
Dang, I gotta run. More seed needed on the deck. Don is mooning me again.
Don Corleone
Don Squirreleone staredown
Ferocious!
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