This will be the first time a supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has led the ceremony, but it most certainly will not be the last.
“All peoples celebrate Dear Leader’s most humble decision to host the Oscars,” said Sony Pictures Chairman and CEO Michael Lynton.
“We have witnessed his strength and honor from afar and welcome the divine opportunity to explode our love in his presence.
To obey Doctor Leader’s magnanimous offer to host the Oscars is perfect joy, all of his resources and talent coming together on global stage.”
Lynton helped redesign the iconic Oscar statuette “to better model the ideal human form” and offered a stern warning for enemies of the Juche Spirit.
“The vile capitalist running-dogs Seth Rogen and James Franco do shame the nation and Hollywood-industry with their thrice-cursed crimes,” he said via short-wave radio.
“Such villains of the Eternal Party will pay for their heinous betrayals and scandals which the era shall dutifully record.”"
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