"...I've certainly seen enough in my 55 years — several of them spent among the hippies in northern California — to have a few handy rules to help you tell who is on what.
- Inappropriate laughter (See: Kamala Harris) and/or Cheetos? Marijuana.
- Invites select people to the bathroom every eight-to-15 minutes? Cocaine.
- Homeless/No teeth? Meth.
- Can't stop dancing and/or sharing positive vibes? Ecstasy.
- Ate own face? Bath salts.
- Seeing things no one else can/Convinced everything is "bendy?" LSD or shrooms.
- Missing and/or dead? Heroin.
- Died in the '90s? Crack cocaine.
- Freshly dead? Fentanyl.
- I joke because it's either that or weep over the state of our Republic.
Rewatch that clip of him at that Juneteenth celebration, smiling and staring without blinking at things that aren't there, and you might think he'd dropped a seriously good tab...
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