McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024 - BabylonBee.com

Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024. 

• Despite having thousands of highly trained agents tasked with stopping violent mass shooters, the entirety of the FBI was bested by a single part-time McDonald's cashier.
• "Not again," sighed Director Wray, handing over his resignation. "I don't know how McDonald's does it. How did they beat us at arresting shooters, all while making perfectly crispy fries, a solid breakfast, and surprisingly good coffee? We just can't compete with the golden arches."...